Pay Attention

One of my goals for this year is to PAY ATTENTION. I simply want to be more aware of simple joys; to tune my ears to hear God’s whispers; to pay closer attention to kindnesses as well as to the needs of others. As an exercise to pay closer attention, I’m keeping my camera handy to capture a few things.

So…in that spirit…here are this week’s “Things that made me smile.”

 

A Born Storyteller

Just for giggles, I had to share this.  She has so many aspects of storytelling down pat, even at three!  The gestures, the eyes, the inflection.  Sign this girl up to be the next Robert Osborn!

 

The Chocolate Bark Company

If you are going to be absent from your blog for a while, you really should have a good excuse. Can I just say one word in my defense?

Chocolate

As in…fully involved…grownup…chocolate.

I’ve been working a temporary Christmas job at The Chocolate Bark Company here in Sarasota, Florida, and can I just say it’s pretty much heaven? With more than 50 generous 6-ounce barks, essentially large chocolate bars, this is a no brainer for delectable treats. Dark chocolate with cranberries and walnuts, or pumpkin praline seeds, or sea salt and caramel. And that’s just for starters. There are also the truffles, including mocha, espresso, raspberry, coconut, cocoa, pomegranate, key lime, passion fruit, creme brulee and more—guaranteed to make eyes roll in bliss, tense shoulders melt into chocolate oblivion, and turn grown men and women into 6-year-olds.

Owner Kelli Kamm and Manager Deb Kern

When I asked owner Kelli Kamm, an attorney by trade, what possessed her to open a chocolate shop, she laughed and said, “The better question is, ‘What possessed me to be an attorney?’” It’s not that complicated, really. She loved chocolate, and she learned to use rich ingredients, like Belgian Callebaut, to make works of edible art. “The hard part about the chocolate business is the business. This part,” she said, as she filled trays with a delectable river of chocolate with grey sea salt almond, “is the fun part.”

Chocolate Bark Selections

Attention to detail and the personal touch are two key aspects of her 14-year success. Kelli and her long-time manager, Deb Kern, design and make everything in their shop, right down to the gorgeous packaging. (I should know. I’ve hand-tied hundreds of bows on boxes, packages, and bags of assorted chocolate heaven.)

Chocolate Truffles

Besides the chocolate itself which is (did I mention this?) divine, the customers are, hands down, my favorite part of the shop. I love watching the  newlyweds who come in every Friday for their weekly two-truffle treat.  I loved meeting the woman who teaches Parkinsons patients to dance. Another woman, a cancer patient headed for her last chemo treatment, came in to buy chocolate for her nurses.  One man bought 16 truffles the other day for himself and his wife—just because. It wasn’t even a Christmas gift. It was just a random weekday “I thought of you” gift. I love that.

It is delightful to watch people take the time to pick out such a simple, scrumptious, and elegant treat for friends, family, spouses, or even for themselves.  For just a few bucks, it’s hard to beat the certain smile such a gift will bring to the recipient’s face—and, of course, there’s the (did I mention this?) divinely rich and decadent chocolate, mixed with such surprising flavors that you, too, will turn into a kid again. Guaranteed.

A Rachel Ray (and Kay Johnson) Favorite!

Dark Chocolate Peppermint Bark

Dealing with that “love your enemies” verse

After Jesus tells his listeners (during the Sermon on the Mount) that those who struggle in life are the “blessed,” which really does seem like a strange blessing indeed, he gives them a huge word of encouragement: He tells them they are the “light of the world” and the “salt of the earth.”

Mind you, he is speaking, here, to an oppressed people. Their land is occupied by a mighty and, often, cruel foreign empire.  Many of their own countrymen have ridden the coattails of Roman power right over their heads. Their own religious leaders offer little comfort, instead using oppressive legalism to exert their own power–only adding to the already overwhelming burden of Roman occupation. Jesus’ words must have been either encouraging or downright hard to believe.

I am the salt of the earth?  Really? I thought I was just dung under someone’s foot.

Just when the crowd might have been tempted to congratulation themselves (“He says we are the light of the world!) or see Jesus as siding with them against those nasty Romans, Pharisees, Scribes. and tax collectors, Jesus turns his challenge directly towards them.  He says they have to do an even better job than the Scribes and Pharisees, their own hyper-holy leaders, in being righteous.

What?! Isn’t this the guy who just said we are the light of the world. This is a such a downer message.

For at least 27 verses, Jesus goes on to talk about–what?  Political oppression? Hardships? Life’s difficulties?  No!  He talks about relationships. Relationships!  Is this guy serious?

He challenges his listeners to do a better job in loving others–and he has really weird ideas about who those “others” are. He talks about loving your enemy, doing good to those who hate you, giving up your right to retaliate, allowing people to take advantage of you, treating others the way we want to be treated.

Juliet's balcony. Loving the Enemy. Photo by Vavva

It’s one thing to encourage people today to go the extra mile, smile when you’re down, or overlook insults. We live in a rich society. We have generous rights and legal recourse if we are harmed. But Jesus addresses crowd here whose sons or daughters could be, and often were, enslaved, killed, or imprisoned at a moment’s notice–and they could do nothing about it. These people had nothing close to the rights we know today, and many lived in or on the edge of poverty.  Yet Jesus has the gall to sit there and say it’s not good enough to love your friends and family.  Anyone can do that, Jesus says.  How about loving your enemy? How about loving someone who really doesn’t care about you?  How about loving someone who wishes you harm?

Is that even possible?

I won’t lie. It is totally impossible to me. If someone hurts me, I want to hurt them back.  If they hurt my kids–forget it! Mercy and grace may be in God’s nature, but it’s not always in mine. There are times when I just want justice–not mercy. And there are times when justice is the greater need. But even in oppression, Jesus does not let them, or us, off the hook.  Can oppressed people be guilty of sin? According to Jesus…absolutely. Had his listeners been given the power at that moment to overturn their enemies, would they have behaved with largesse and kindness and generosity towards their former oppressors?  Not likely. They would probably have given the Romans back, in spades, what the Romans had given to them.  And how, then, would they be any different from the Romans, their enemy? How are we?

Jesus doesn’t let us get away with simply exposing the sinfulness and unrighteousness of others. He challenges us to see and deal with our own. It starts with us. It always starts with us.  When we are incapable of love because we are hanging on to our right to retaliate, we must start and end with a dependence on God for the love and forgiveness we cannot give.

The Art Experience

My friend Ron Goulet has been telling me for months about a monthly community event he hosts in Venice, Florida, called “The Art Experience.” It goes like this. Each month, a group of aspiring artists are given a topic to paint. It could be anything. Last month, it was beer. Another month was sailing. This month, the topic was angels.

Read the rest of this post…

Blessed are those who mourn. Really?

I’ve been re-visiting the Sermon on the Mount. That’s the one that starts out with the “Beatitudes,” and I’m struck, again, with how strange and totally foreign these words are to our “Anthony Robbins” way of thinking. This is not a success-by-numbers speech. This is anything but.

Think about it. Who are our “golden” ones–our “blessed” ones? Those who pursue their passion. Those who set goals and meet them. Those who courageously and fearlessly plow through obstacles or face fears to win the prize. Our ideals are all wrapped up in performance.

Jesus takes a completely different stance. He says that the blessed ones are those who are “poor in spirit” and “meek.” He lauds those who “hunger and thirst” for righteousness. He calls the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and the persecuted blessed. He even says that those who mourn are blessed. There is not a hint of stellar performance in these character traits. He describes people who are down on their luck, desperate, and denied. How is that blessed? He contrasts these with those who are rich, fed, comforted, and well respected. He says they are the ones to be pitied “for they’ve already received their reward.” If we are honest, doesn’t “rich” describe most of us who live in the U.S.? Can we even compare our poor to, say, the poor in Haiti? Calcutta? Zimbabwe? I don’t think so.

I don’t think Jesus is condemning material blessings. After all, all blessings come from God, but I do think he is warning us about being lured into a false sense of security and comfort by them. Those who are desperate, those who mourn, those who are hungry–they know all too well their need. Those who are comfortable and well fed can all too easily fall into a belief that they have need of nothing. When we believe we have (or have access to) all that we need because we are comforted and well fed, we’ve missed the real treasure–and in so doing, we’ve missed everything.

Taylor Mali, like, nails it, you know?

This is, like, Hilarious?  Most people will laugh. English teachers will cry. Artists will go “Oooooo!”

Enjoy.

Brevity is the soul of communication

(First draft 238 words.  Edited version 164.  Final version 140. Give me a week, and I can get it down to 130.)

photo by Erich Stüssi

Shakespeare wrote, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Wit, here, refers to intelligence. As a writer, I couldn’t agree more. You have to be smart to say what you mean and say it concisely.  Many people don’t even know what they mean. They are too busy to think about it. Thinking requires stillness and reflection. So does writing. That’s why people hire me.

Still, when they see the words I create, the first inclination is to add more GLUT.  They are terrified of leaving out something important, so they stuff a brochure like a Thanksgiving turkey. Or they assume that more words—big words—make them look smart.

Our world is noisy and cluttered. People crave simplicity.

So here’s your challenge. Finish your draft, and then cut 1/3 of it. Then cut more.

Watch your message rise to the surface.

Shakespeare wrote, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” said Polonius in Hamlet. The word “wit”  Wit can, of course, mean refers to both humor, of course, which Shakespeare may have meant to convey on one level. But “wit” , but it is also refers to and intelligence. Now that I’ve spent a number of years writing copy for a wide variety of clients and even for myself, After writing copy for a number of years As a writer, I see the truth of Shakespeare’s words. realize the truth of this statement all the more. You have to be smart to say what you mean and say it concisely. Honestly, Most people don’t even know what they mean. They are too busy to think about it. Thinking requires stillness and reflection. So does writing. So they hire me for that part to listen and then put their thoughts to words. Still, when they see the words, the first inclination is to   They haven’t really processed their thoughts it. More often than not, my clients have a tendency to want to The tendency of most clients is to add more STUFF versus delete. They are so afraid that they are not going to get this fact or that message into the mix. They are so afraid they are going to leave outare terrified of leaving out something important, so they  that they end up stuffing a try to stuff a small, trifold brochure like a Thanksgiving turkey. Or they assume that more words, especially big words, make them look smarter.  for Thanksgiving. With all the noise in our world today, Our world is noisy and cluttered. people want you to simplify things for them.  People crave simplicity. They may be willing to stay with you if you are writing a leisure-reading novel, but if you are writing something to convey information quickly and simply, less if definitely more.  So here’s your challenge. Finish your draft, and then challenge yourself to go back and cut 1/3 of the copy.  Then cut 10 more words. See if the message you want to convey doesn’t Watch your message rise to the surface. fore.

And this is why I love Seth Godin

Seth nails it again. This is practically poetic.

“Art is what we call…the thing an artist does.

It’s not the medium

or the oil or the price

Read the rest of this post here

Grace Both Ways

Photo by Bhagathkumar Bhagavathi

We are often inconsistent about grace, aren’t we? Think of those times when you, or someone you know, have been hurt by someone at work, or at church, or by a good friend.  Our righteous indignation kicks in at the injustice of it all. Where is the compassion, we wonder—where’s the grace?  the kindness?  We complain loudly about how we are treated—and then we tend to write the Offender off as persona non grata.

The Offender no longer exists.

Ironically, we withhold the very thing we wanted from the Offender.  We wanted grace. We wanted understanding. We wanted forgiveness when we screwed up.  We wanted kindness.  We didn’t get it.  So now, we are going to be certain that the Offender never gets it from us.  I hate to say it, but I see the worst of this in three groups:  Those who’ve been offended by judgmental parents, by a boss, or by a church.  The plaintiff, in each of these circumstances, becomes a “withholder.”  I’ve done it myself more than I care to admit.  It goes like this: You offend me.  I wanted grace or kindness.  I didn’t get it.  So now, I’m withholding mine from you. I’m taking all my toys and leaving.  I’m taking my grace. My kindness. My forgiveness. My love. You aren’t getting any of it because you are a jerk!  You don’t deserve it.

And when I do this…I become like the very person or situation that offended me in the first place.  Grace goes both ways. We want to receive grace, but sometimes we don’t. In those times, all we can do if we are to hang on to any shred of integrity is to offer grace. That is the nature of grace. It is undeserved. If we fail to do so, we simply become a different version of the Offender.

The top 5 regrets people make on their deathbeds

My sister-in-law, Lisa, shared a link on Facebook to an article with the above title. The list was compiled by a woman named Bonnie Ware who worked for many years with the dying.  The #1 deathbed regret?

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Ms. Ware writes, “Most  people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”  Ms. Ware encourages us to honour our dreams before a lack of health limits or eliminates our choices.

I question my sanity regularly, especially since I began working for myself just as the recession was beginning to bloom.  What kind of crazy person does that?  But my gut keeps telling me the same thing: Keep moving forward. I am learning that when you go after your passion, there really is no roadmap. Even with a business plan in hand, you have test your assumptions and make adjustments on a daily basis.

You also have to become very comfortable with uncertainty.  If you can trust God, this isn’t so bad. In fact, it’s a good place to be. I often find myself having conversations with God that go something like this: “Ok, God, I’m moving forward with this idea.  Are you watching?  Ok…here I go.  Stop me if this is wrong!” And then I trust that God will do just that.

photo by Brian Uhreen

I’m not sitting around waiting for daily epiphanies before I move. I’m just sticking my toes in the water and watching to see if they part.  If they do, guess what?  I’m moving. You’ll soon find me making my way across the riverbed. If the waters don’t move, it’s time for a route correction. And if I’m listening, I can hear those heavenly GPS directions and adjust to them while I’m in motion. It is much, much harder if I’m stuck in neutral. My friend Sonya said her father used to remind her,  “It’s very difficult to turn the wheels of parked car.”

Don’t sit around wondering if you can pursue your passion. Just go after it, but keep an eye and ear peeled to heaven for those route corrections. You can trust.

(You can read the full article about deathbed regrets at http://thenextweb.com/lifehacks/2011/05/31/the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbeds/)

I Need a Vista

As any good writer knows, you need time away from writing projects in order to see them with fresh eyes.

Photo by Kay Johnson

The distance of even a few hours provides fresh insights into what you really want to say. I think that’s what vacations or retreats do for our lives.  We get stuck, don’t we, in the weeds of our own lives.  Distance brings remarkable clarity to those areas where we’ve allowed weeds to choke away our gifts and passions.

photo by Kay Johnson

It isn’t always possible to take a vacation, given life’s demands and financial limitations, but we can still get away regularly, even if only for a drive or a walk.  Every time I get away, especially if I can afford a bit of distance and time, I am amazed at the perspective I gain.  When I come home, it is almost shocking to see how quickly I can delete useless emails.  Priorities and passions crystallize, while useless and destructive time suckers become obvious.  I can suddenly see the light along my pathway.

We can’t always afford to hop on a plane and get away, but we can keep things in perspective through daily “retreats”—even as simple as a few backyard moments to breathe, pray, meditate, and just be with our Maker.

photo by Kay Johnson

 

What’s got you?

A few years ago I went rappelling. Can I just be honest and say that I was pretty much terrified?!  The first try was from the top of a climbing tower, only about 60 feet high, but the climb alone was freaking me out.  If not for the fact that I was supervising a group of middle and high schoolers, I might have chickened out, but my pride was on the line.  When it was my turn, the guide took me by the hands and said, “Okay, turn around and face me.” He turned me to face him with my back to the edge of the platform.

“Now walk backwards until you’re just standing on the edge with your toes.”

Was he SERIOUS? 

Charlie had been doing this for years. A modern-day mountain man, he was a little grizzled and rough around the edges, but he was gentle with the kids and with me. He was in his late 50s, and somehow the fact that he was NOT twenty-something was incredibly comforting at that moment.

“Charlie, I’m a mom.  I need to be alive after this for my kids, ok?”

Charlie laughed.  “Just keep your eyes on me, ok?  Trust me.  Now step back.”  He held my arms while I closed my eyes and then quickly opened them again because he said, “Keep looking at me!”  I inched backwards until I could feel my heels dangling off the ledge.  “Keep your eyes on me,” Charlie coaxed.

Fat chance I’m looking anywhere else!

“Now, just sit down.”

“Sit down? You mean…as in sitting?”

“That’s it, just squat down like you’re gonna sit in a chair. You’ll see.  The ropes and harness’ve gotcha!”  He had that wide-eyed smile of a father watching his kid learn to ride a bike.

“Ok, Charlie, if this thing doesn’t hold, I’m gonna haunt you in the after-life.”

Charlie grinned. “Just do it.”  I leaned back and squatted down, as though easing into a La-z-boy…and…amazing!  It really did feel like I was sitting in a chair.  The harness and ropes were dead secure.

Instantly, I lost all fear.  I looked up at Charlie in surprise, and he caught my expression.

“See? I told you. It’s got you. Now just push away from the wall and have fun flying down.”  And that’s exactly what I did.  It was exhilerating!  It was over in just a few seconds, but I could’ve done that all day.  When we graduated to scaling off a mountainside a couple days later, I felt like an old pro, “Pfffff, I got this!”  All because I knew that the ropes and the harness and the guys on belay had me secure.

That’s what trusting God is like.  It’s so scary to go out on a ledge, until you step off the edge and sit into your fear. Only then can you know the safe and strong arms that have “got you.”  I love that scene in Indiana Jones where Jones, in order to solve a riddle, realizes he must take a “leap of faith” off a monumentally scary cliff side.  He sees no alternative but to stick his foot off the edge and walk. When he takes that step, he is amazed to discover solid ground beneath him.  The bridge was there all the time, but it was disguised in such a way that he couldn’t see it until he was actually on top of it.  What a great image of trust.

Trust is a mysterious and powerful thing when we stake our lives on something–or Someone–worthy of our faith. My rappelling experience was only as secure as the equipment and the experience of those on belay, both of which proved to be reliable. There are trustworthy arms ready to catch and hold us.  But we will never know them until we step off the ledge.

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

In our image

So God said, “Let us make man in our image.” If we are really “like” God, in the way that we are like our fathers or our mothers, think of the implications when you consider the beauty of creation. Take a look at some of the wonder works of God that I saw yesterday at Selby Gardens in Sarasota.

photo by Kay Johnson

What artistry!  If I accept that God is Creator, I am breathless when I walk about God’s museum and take in the show.

photo by Kay Johnson

What kind of mind creates this?

photo by Kay Johnson

Or this?

photo by Kay Johnson

Or this?

photo by Kay Johnson

And if I am “like” God, does that mean I have some smidgeon of this kind of creative power?

photo by Kay Johnson

I am stunned at the idea that we could surprise, awe, delight, or cause others to wonder in the way that these images caused me to stand amazed and mesmerized. But haven’t we all been moved in similar ways by music, or a painting, or a book or poem?

( God had fun with this one. Pink and white "paint" splatters all over the leaves)) Photo by Kay Johnson

And, is it just me, or do you get the sneaking suspicion that God was…well…having fun, when he made this stuff?

Cocao nuts (Yes! As in–this is where chocolate comes from!) Photo by Kay Johnson

There is joy here.  There is delight.  And we feel both as we look at the end results.

photo by Kay Johnson

I hope my own work, whatever it is, will have the same effect.

photo by Kay Johnson

P.S. Happy Birthday, Barry. One of the things I love most about you is the joy you take in life, in your family and friends, in your music, and in me.  I KNOW that when God made you, he was having SO MUCH FUN.  I can just imagine God saying, “Just WAIT til they get a load of this one!”  Haartelijk Gefeliciteerd,  Schaat.  Ik hou van jou.

Barry Johnson. Photo by Kay Johnson

Think Small

Have you been dreaming about something you would like to do? Do you think it might never happen?  Take some encouragement from writer Leigh McLeroy.  Dream big. Act small.  If you need a little kick in the pants, read her post here.

Wednesday words from Leigh.