Where are you?

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Can I just let you in on a little secret? I have never liked women’s events, whether at work or at church.  Girl’s night out? Not a big priority. Honestly, Barry and I such great friends that I never saw girl time as an urgent need. Besides, women can just be so…complicated. Am I right?

Lately, though, I’ve come to see how important girlfriends are. There are some things, for instance, that my girlfriends understand instantly, while I could spend hours trying to explain the same thing to Barry—and he still might not get it. (Don’t get me wrong. I’m crazy about this guy. But, let’s face it, he can’t be my girlfriend, and it isn’t fair to expect him to be.)

But friendships are costly. I have to be real, let someone see my warts, and open my heart to risk. I have to deal with other people’s stuff too. Truthfully, I’d rather sit on my couch!

But friendship is worth the price of undignified pursuit. In the story of the garden, God shares a perfect friendship with Adam and Eve until they betray him and hide. But God leaves all sense of personal pride behind and bolts after them, searching through the garden, calling “Where are you?”  It is a picture of loss. The trust, ease of friendship, and sweet companionship enjoyed between man and God is gone, replaced by shame, awkwardness, division, mistrust, and fear. Anyone who has suffered a divorce or even a falling out between friends can relate. We say to ourselves, “It wasn’t mean to be this way.”

And we’re right. It wasn’t! We were designed to share friendship with God and one another. After all, God himself declared of’ Adam’s solitary state, “It is not good.” Barring those momentary times when hiding under the covers sounds perfect, we all know that we need friends. We need family. We need soul mates.

Ecclesiastes puts it this way:

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up…And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.   Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

If friendship is such a good thing, why do we sometimes avoid the effort? Could it be that our ability to give and receive is in direct proportion to our ability to trust God? Is is possible that if we trust God completely to be all we need, we free those around us from the tyranny of our expectations, and free ourselves to just love people where they are and receive whatever they have to give?

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10 responses »

  1. What a very true and impacting post. Friendship is like a double-edged sword, it helps us cut through the underbrush of life and yet can slice and wound if handled carelessly. So well written, my friend.

  2. I love this Kay. My “latest favorite verse” is:
    1 Peter 1:22
    “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.”

    • Isn’t that an interesting verse? There’s a relationship here between obeying the truth and having sincere love for each other. Wow. There’s something to think about–gulp. (Speaking of great friends, have a told you what a wonderful friend you are?)

      • I consider you a wonderful friend too, Kay! Yes, that is the latest thing God is teaching me, that relationship in the verse.. Also, how can we love God deeply with a sincere heart, it we cannot also love one another in the same way. I think we are due for a walk on the beach and a cup of coffee. 🙂

      • So true, Linda. Still, I admit, there’s times I’d like to hang on to my little grudges more than let go and love. Just one of those areas I have to continue to surrender, I suppose.

        Beach walk? I’m in. xo

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